You Are Loved and Valuable

Twenty-Six Truths that Can Free You from Self-Hatred

Every person Jesus dealt with sensed how much Jesus loved and valued him or her. Jesus saw the value and potential in every life. That’s why his ministry was powerful.

Many of us don’t like ourselves. We compare ourselves with others and wish we were like them. We don’t think others can like or accept us. We may watch closely whether people approve of us or not. The proud person may be described as “full of himself.” But he who goes around hating himself is also “full of himself” or obsessed with himself. The truth sets us free – John 8:32. Here are twenty-six truths from reason and scripture that can set us free from the chains of self-hate:


The desire to be accepted and approved by others is one of the strongest drives we have (probably even stronger than sex). Understanding the power of this natural desire will help us see the need to control it.


We are hardly ever objective about ourselves; we do not see ourselves as we really are. We often read rejection into the words and actions of others when it is not there. Most people do not see us as negatively as we see ourselves.


Many people whom you envy and think of as secure and gifted have the same self-doubts that you do. The person you envy may be envying you. The person you are afraid to meet may also be afraid to meet you. You worry about what the other person is thinking while he/she worries about what you are thinking.


It is a futile waste to grieve over an unchangeable defect when you could rise above it and have a valuable life in spite of it.


Your concern over your self-worth decreases your attractiveness as a person, and a freedom from such concern makes you more attractive.


The pain of low self-esteem often creates behavior that further damages self-esteem. The over-weight person despises himself, eats to console himself, and adds to his problem. The person who drinks or abuses drugs to forget his self-hatred only adds to his shame. The person who shows off to impress people only makes a fool of himself.


Rejection by another human or humans is no dependable indication of what you are worth. (In fact, rejection by some people might be a sign of great worth – Luke 6:26).


Self-acceptance does not mean you have no “minuses.” You are aware of them but are also aware of your “pluses.”


Personality and inward attractiveness impress people far more than outward attractiveness – 1 Peter 3:3-6; Proverbs 15:30; 31:30.


Self-esteem is necessary to a good marriage and to all good relationships. The person who accepts himself does not need to pretend; he can be transparent. He can communicate, give love, does not always need extra approval or to be handled with “kid gloves,” and does not imagine rejection.


The world’s standards for personal worth are deceptive and incomplete. We need to have our eyes opened by God’s truth to what is really valuable – 2 Corinthians 4:4; John 8:32.


When we resent our unchangeable features, we are questioning God who made us like we are for a purpose – Isaiah 45:9; Romans 9:20; Psalm 139:13-16; Exodus 4:11.


God can be glorified and his work accomplished through your weaknesses – Romans 8:28; John 11:4; 9:1-3; 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.


Our suffering can change us into more attractive, wholesome people – 1 Corinthians 11:28-33; Hebrews 5:8; Romans 5:3,4.


Comparing ourselves with others is foolish. It is God’s valuation of us that matters – 2 Corinthians 10:12; Romans 2:29b; John 5:44.


God values inward beauty – 1 Samuel 16:7; 1 Peter 3:3,4; Matthew 5:3-11; Galatians 5:22,23; Psalm 29:2.


I am made in God’s image – Genesis 1:26,27 – and am being re-made though I had fallen – Colossians 3:10; Isaiah 61:3; Ephesians 2:10. “God is not finished with me yet.”


Real life is not in possessions or wealth – Luke 12:15.


Life is worthwhile because Jesus is living in me – Galatians 2:20; 4:19.


We are going to be made beautiful like Jesus – 1 John 3:1,2.


Jesus had many reasons by the world’s standards to feel badly about himself, but he did not – Isaiah 53:2,3; Matthew 13:53-58; John 7:5; Mark 3:21; John 1:46; Luke 9:58; Galatians 3:13.


Many of God’s greatest servants have had defects or problems that could have caused self-rejection: Joseph – Genesis 37:3-36; 39:20; Jacob – Genesis 32:30,31; Elisha – 2 Kings 2:23; Jephthah – Judges 11:1; Gideon – Judges 6:15; Moses – Acts 7:23-29; Exodus 4:10; Paul – 2 Corinthians 12:7-9; 10:10; Zacchaeus – Luke 19:2,3; Timothy – 1 Timothy 5:23.


No member of Christ’s body has all the gifts – 1 Corinthians 12:4-31; Romans 12:4-8. No member is to be jealous of another member’s gifts – 1 Corinthians 12:14-18. There is no member who is not important – 1 Corinthians 12:21-26. The members who seem less honorable are honored even more by God – 1 Corinthians 12:22-24. And since the gifts are given by the Lord according to his own wisdom and will, it is not right to question him because he did not give me a certain ability – 1 Corinthians 12:11,18.


God does not de-value a person because of age, race, sex, poverty, orphanhood, handicaps, etc. – 2 Corinthians 4:16; Proverbs 16:31; Galatians 3:28; Psalm 72:12; 68:5.


Every person is valuable because he/she is unique. God can use your life in a way he can use no one else.


Most important of all, God sees every one of us as greatly valuable. He gave his own Son to redeem us – John 3:16; Romans 5:8. He would have done this even if you had been the only person on earth – Matthew 18:10-14. God is personally concerned about each of us and has tender affection for us – Luke 12:6,7; 1 Peter 5:7; Luke 12:32; John 13:1; Luke 22:14,15; 2 Peter 3:9.

God wants and values our friendship and wants us to call him “Father” – Exodus 33:11; James 2:23; John 15:15; 2 Corinthians 6:17,18. God longs to help your weakness and to redeem and change each person – Galatians 4:19. God wants to give us what we ask for – Matthew 7:7-11. God accepts us in spite of our failings just as any loving parent does his child – Luke 15:11-32. God wants you and invites you to be his. He has a purpose for your life.

There is no life, however ruined, that cannot be made beautiful if truly submitted to God – Isaiah 1:18; 2 Corinthians 5:17; John 1:12.

-From SHBI’s Christian Growth Course